Ibnu Bohari


Posted in Psikologi by mibnufajar on 28 December, 2009

Here’s a test to check if you’re one of those deceiving, manipulating backstabbing person we usually seen in Gossip Girl (I bet Georgina Sparks got the perfect scores). The test called MACH-IV test, the name came from Machiavellianism, a kind of personality in modern psychology described as “a person’s tendency to deceive and manipulate others for personal gain”. There are 20 statements, and you rate every statements based on your opinions according to this :

A=strongly disagree




E=strongly agree

Here’s the statement :

1). Never tell anyone the real reason you did something unless it is useful to do so.

2). The best way to handle people is to tell them what they want to hear.

3). One should take action only when sure it is morally right.

4). Most people are basically good and kind.

5). It is safest to assume that all people have a vicious streak and it will come out when they are given a chance.

6). Honesty is the best policy in all cases.

7). There is no excuse for lying to someone else.

8). Generally speaking, people won’t work hard unless they’re forced to do so.

9). All in all, it is better to be humble and honest than to be important and dishonest.

10). When you ask someone to do something for you, it is best to give the real reasons for wanting it rather than giving reasons which carry more weight.

11). Most people who get ahead in the world lead clean, moral lives.

12). Anyone who completely trusts anyone else is asking for trouble.

13). The biggest difference between most criminals and other people is that the criminals are stupid enough to get caught.

14). Most people are brave.

15). It is wise to flatter important people.

16). It is possible to be good in all respects.

17). P.T. Barnum was wrong when he said that there’s a sucker born every minute.

18). It is hard to get ahead without cutting corners here and there.

19). People suffering from incurable diseases should have the choice of being put painlessly to death.

20). Most people forget more easily the death of their parents than the loss of their property.

Now, write in a piece of paper your chosen answer for each statements, and then count your score (see the comment below)

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle

Posted in Psikologi by mibnufajar on 30 September, 2009

Judulnya aneh yak..

Kübler-Ross, lengkapnya elizabeth Kübler-Ross, seorang psikiater kelahiran Swiss, menulis dalam bukunya On Death and Dying, bahwa seseorang yang mendekati ajal, akan melalui 5 fase yg dikenal dengan Grief Cycle. Meskipun pada awalnya Dr. Kübler-Ross menulis ini atas pengamatannya pada pasien-pasien yg telah divonis tidak berumur lama lagi, siklus ini ternyata terjadi juga pada orang-orang yang baru saja mengalami musibah, kehilangan orang tercinta, kehilangan pekerjaan atau harta benda.

Kelima tahapan itu adalah (di-copy plek-plek dari Wikipedia) :

  1. Denial“I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
  2. Anger“Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
  3. Bargaining“Just let me live to see my children graduate.”; “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time…”
  4. Depression“I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die . . . What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer an individual up that is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
  5. Acceptance“It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
    This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.

Gw pertama tau tentang siklus ini dari serial The O.C., dimana pada season 4, Summer berkunjung ke psikiater untuk membantunya melupakan teman baiknya  Marissa, yg meninggal dalam kecelakaan.. Scene-nya menampilkan 5 tahapan sesuai dengan model Kübler-Ross, yang menurut gw sangat “benar”. We gone (or will be gone) through that at least once in our lifetime.

Kenapa kita mesti mengerti tahapan-tahapan ini? Jawabnya adalah, agar kita bisa membantu teman atau kolega yang sedang mengalami masalah. Pahami dia sedang berada di fase yang mana, berikan respon yang sesuai dan pastikan dy tidak terperangkap dalam satu fase atau mengulang-ngulang siklus dan tidak pernah sampai ke fase kelima.

Lalu, Gimana treatment masing-masing fase ? Auuuu, gw juga masih belajar, hehehe..