Ibnu Bohari

Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle

Posted in Psikologi by mibnufajar on 30 September, 2009

Judulnya aneh yak..

Kübler-Ross, lengkapnya elizabeth Kübler-Ross, seorang psikiater kelahiran Swiss, menulis dalam bukunya On Death and Dying, bahwa seseorang yang mendekati ajal, akan melalui 5 fase yg dikenal dengan Grief Cycle. Meskipun pada awalnya Dr. Kübler-Ross menulis ini atas pengamatannya pada pasien-pasien yg telah divonis tidak berumur lama lagi, siklus ini ternyata terjadi juga pada orang-orang yang baru saja mengalami musibah, kehilangan orang tercinta, kehilangan pekerjaan atau harta benda.

Kelima tahapan itu adalah (di-copy plek-plek dari Wikipedia) :

  1. Denial“I feel fine.”; “This can’t be happening, not to me.”
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of situations and individuals that will be left behind after death.
  2. Anger“Why me? It’s not fair!”; “How can this happen to me?”; “Who is to blame?”
    Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
  3. Bargaining“Just let me live to see my children graduate.”; “I’ll do anything for a few more years.”; “I will give my life savings if…”
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the person is saying, “I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time…”
  4. Depression“I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”; “I’m going to die . . . What’s the point?”; “I miss my loved one, why go on?”
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect oneself from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer an individual up that is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
  5. Acceptance“It’s going to be okay.”; “I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
    This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the death that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone. Additionally, feelings and physical pain may be non-existent. This stage has also been described as the end of the dying struggle.

Gw pertama tau tentang siklus ini dari serial The O.C., dimana pada season 4, Summer berkunjung ke psikiater untuk membantunya melupakan teman baiknya  Marissa, yg meninggal dalam kecelakaan.. Scene-nya menampilkan 5 tahapan sesuai dengan model Kübler-Ross, yang menurut gw sangat “benar”. We gone (or will be gone) through that at least once in our lifetime.

Kenapa kita mesti mengerti tahapan-tahapan ini? Jawabnya adalah, agar kita bisa membantu teman atau kolega yang sedang mengalami masalah. Pahami dia sedang berada di fase yang mana, berikan respon yang sesuai dan pastikan dy tidak terperangkap dalam satu fase atau mengulang-ngulang siklus dan tidak pernah sampai ke fase kelima.

Lalu, Gimana treatment masing-masing fase ? Auuuu, gw juga masih belajar, hehehe..

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I Take Things a Little Too Serious

Posted in Curhat by mibnufajar on 9 September, 2009

Following the recent drama of my life, ‘the love triangle’, I’ve been smoking heavily, it was like i’ve been doing it for years. Gosh, not-so-good.

Actually all I need to do is act cool and calm about this. Yep yep yep, I should do that.